My father’s transition on September 6, 2021 was the catalyst to a journey in the abyss of my own history. As his caregiver until the end of his life, I was struggling with watching him leave the earthly plane. His transition triggered the pain I was unable to resolve with him while he was with us and I struggled to feel stabilized in who I am. If I am full of insecurity and not at peace, just like every other human, what gives me the right to assume responsibility to implement peace outside of myself in the world? I am not responsible for the weight of the world, but bear the burden of releasing the world’s weight on me. My root chakra was clouded and unstable and I struggled to feel grounded in my purpose. I needed closure.My father showed up in an ancestral cacao ceremony led by The Ancestor Project on Father’s Day 2022 (also Juneteenth). It was the clearest vision I received when I saw myself standing in a desert and all there was in front of me was a large well-structured hut, where a shaman with red face paint and a dark brown headdress stood as if he were expecting me. It was sunny and I could feel the heat hitting me from the east of me, feeling familiar and not overwhelming as if I’d been there before. The shaman and a few other people came toward me to assist in bringing me in the hut. A woman figure with masculine, almost androgynous like qualities and characteristics, took my hand, placed me on a bed to lie down on, and put their hands on my temples. Their hands were very warm as if felt more hands placed on my shoulders holding me down. I felt multiple voices telling me it was going to be an uncomfortable next few moments as I tried to relax my mind more to receive the messages. I then felt light and vibration travel through my body as I heard “I am healed”.
As my eyes remained closed while they held me down, they asked me to open my eyes in the hut, keeping my physical eyes closed. I felt my forehead getting cool at specific points where the pineal gland lives. In front of me was my father wearing the green African kente shirt that he would always wear looking so radiant, like the happiest he’s ever been. I was overwhelmed and began to cry because I then saw him surrounded by all of our ascended family. He gave me a private message then I astral projected over my body, where I saw both of my grandmothers, my grandpa Thurman, great-grandma Lena Bell and more. The room became hot and packed full of ancestors from all past lifetimes. I felt claustrophobic by the pantheon of people just staring at me with approval as they held my head and my hands, praying over me. I asked them what do I need to do next to keep in touch, and they directed me to set up an altar to commune with them any time. I knew they wanted to connect with me but needed to unblock the stagnation in my root chakra to stay grounded in my identity.If I knew then, that love would be the catalyst to my truest self, that the deepest heartbreak I’ve experienced so far would push me to be my most purposeful self, I’d do it all again. I live with no regrets because this too shall pass, whether my days are good this too shall pass, and the universal law of physics would not change simply because my father died, because this too shall pass. Nothing and everything is both permanent and temporary. I knew I was here before, when losing my physical stability, mental wellness, father, friends and lover all in the span of a month, convinced me to double down on my convictions instead of giving up. Commitment to the definiteness of purpose will always be rewarded. Awakening is remembrance of purpose.